O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
