dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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