Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
