Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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