Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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