tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
