just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
