I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
