pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I need moral support for this bender
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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