she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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