ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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