i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
