I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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