Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
