I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
