garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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