we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
