i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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