Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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