id be glad to
I am in a vortex of obligation.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
