Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
