At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
