she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
