my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I AM VODKA MAN
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
