just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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