I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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