Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
