i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
