She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
