she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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