Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
