I just saw a hot homeless man
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
