I only kidnapped one of them. chill
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
