I can tuck mytits in my pants
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
