He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
