therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
