woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
