Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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