he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
