You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
