I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I don't think brook has ever known best
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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