I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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