you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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