STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
