Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
