I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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