garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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