A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
