Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
