He is an equal opportunity slut.
sarcasm needs its own font
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
