Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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