Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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