shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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