Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
