i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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