i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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