is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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