yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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