I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
