Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
