wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
