I cockslap morals
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
