I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
