Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
