After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
