I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
