That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
