i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
